I'm really tired of all these.
Why problems keep coming to me non stop?
This question always appear in my mind but I just only convincing myself I can overcome all these.
I know life is up & down.
I know many others having their problems, too.
But please, let me complain, for a moment?
I'm already feel so damn frustrated with all my personal stuffs
& yet u 2 were like having cold war like nobody business!
Can't u both just be more considerate about your daughter here?!
Can u just count how many of my meals is just eating bread?
Seriously, even my weekend I am walking out alone to take my lunch or dinner.
I'm really sad u know??
Instead of being like that, why wouldn't u two just solve the prob ahead?
No matter how sad how hurt I am I always hide my feelings,
Acted happily & talked, laughed loudly, seems so cheerful huh?
I'm enough with everything.
And now, you left, I have to face everything alone,
yet I have to take the pain inside my heart day by day because of my stupidity,
I'm always alone right now,
I'm still crying like an idiot,
Every time I think about u, I'll cry.
U know what u did that hurts me like hell again & again.
I know you don't even care me at all but I did.
Though I don't want to but I can't resist it.
I know I'm just a failure.
Why am I being so stupid?
I always hope God can end my life,
why not just take my life away &
give it to another kind-hearted person who need it?
Why let so many human being in the world die because of sickness, because of hunger, because of accidents, but not me?
Silly questions always appear in my mind.
If there's a fire in my house, I'll have the courage & give up to run away?
Please forgive me for my negative thinking for a moment.
I know what am I doing.
I can't be so irresponsible & leave everything here.
I've tried my best, to be strong.
Trust me, I really do.
To love with all your heart... is to even risk losing it.
I just wanna have a peace christmas, can I?
